My Noiseless Memories

Present Day…
All my life we had spent our wedding anniversaries together. I remembered my anniversary this year… I didn’t want to go but she promised me that everything would be fine and I had to go…

‘This is your big day… You go get the bread for the family… I am here to take care of everything!’

‘But it’s a month long trip! I will miss you and bash…’

She hugged me and said, ‘Don’t worry… Everything will be fine’

Not long ago…

What was I doing over there – Cute, Stunning, Elegant? What the heck is wrong with me? She is just another girl and she is just someone accompanying you to Tennessee but wait… Why did she say that? What does she really mean by that?

I would better not give any more importance to today’s conversations. My head was already spinning with wild thoughts and at the same time, I was trying to understand and connect the dots but I was as usual clueless.

The next day started on a good note. She promised to cook food for us and I helped her with the dishes. Throughout the day, she spoke a wide range of things and for most part of the time, she had to explain me what she meant in Urdu as I hardly understood.

I was the silent listener lost in her sheer beauty. Her feminine beauty had sealed me off to bear any other thoughts. All I had on my mind was Zoya and why the hell is she so beautiful. She had loads and loads of topics to discuss and she was intoxicating me with her exquisiteness.

She made me listen to Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan and made me watch Shahrukh Khan Movies… I made her listen to A R Rahman & Ilaiyaraaja songs and movies of Yash Chopra, Santhosh Sivan and Mani Ratnam…

Ah! Then the movie Dil Se came by…

I was a huge fan of Mani Ratnam’s movies… She was a huge fan of Shahrukh Khan… The most surprising aspect of our scenario that day was that we have never seen this movie for various reasons but have been huge fans of the songs… Finally we got a chance to get hold of the movie and it was time to play the movie.

We never imagined that how a movie like Dil Se, could be so dark and yet touch human relationships, terrorism, brilliant cinematography, amazing choreography, fantastic music… The last bang came at the end… Never believed that there can be an end of that sort in Bollywood movies…

By the time, the movie ended, it did leave us speechless for few moments. Our heads were clouded with thoughts and opinions and yet didn’t find answers to them… In short it turned out to be an instant classic for us…

The only question I ever asked her was this,

‘How could someone so flawed, helpless, ignored and destroyed fall in love?’

She looked at me… She didn’t answer my question. But there was this genuine sadness in her eyes. It was not a movie on Kashmir… It was not a movie on Pakistan… But why did she have that helpless look on her face… I didn’t want to force her into answering anything that I would regret. I sensed a deep sense of pain in her eyes.

I wanted to touch her hands to make her feel better but I couldn’t. I wanted to touch her gently on her head to make her feel better but I couldn’t. Something stopped me. Was I wrong? I didn’t get the answer to it… I was losing myself to her even more than before. I was getting deeply engrossed in her…

I got my answer in her silence. I never pondered over it again… I was falling for her fatal attraction…

My Noiseless Memories – Chapter 12

Written by Ganesh Raam

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