My Noiseless Memories

Not long ago…

My life has always been topsy-turvy with no concrete space for constants. One of the habits I take pride as well as curse myself is the time I take to judge and realize what everything means to me. All my life has been built around this reckless attitude. I was born to a middle class government employed couple to whom the entire world revolved around my elder sister and to an extent me as well… I never realized the importance of my life and never exactly knew what had to be done with it.

I completed my graduation and didn’t have a clue of what needs to be done as my next step. My friends were choosing premium companies through campus recruitments, some preparing for GRE/GMAT courses for further studies and I on the other hand pretty much resembled, Wakeup Sid… I always thought someone will come with an idea and I just need to follow that in my life.

On the other hand, my sister Swetha always knew what she wanted to do with her life… She was a Chartered Accountant and was regarded by many of my family cousins and friends as one of the last set of hard working homo-sapiens living in this world! She married an IFS officer and moved to Denmark. In a way, she always knew what she was doing and always made the right choices for me that I religiously followed.

I was dumb for the most part of my first 24 years and didn’t even know what the choices in front of me meant. My sister helped me in choosing my high school, and I did my schooling. She chose my Bachelors in Engineering should be Computer Science from a renowned college and I followed it without question. But never a moment it occurred to me what I wanted. When she finally married and settled abroad, I faced the real world… I stood stark-naked.

Rajesh, my college mate and the best friend I had ever got, was the only other person apart from my sister whom I knew was quite serious with his life. One day, he came over to my place, confessed that he’s planning to prepare for GMAT. I didn’t know what it really meant but I wanted to do it. I pushed my father to get him to fund my studies. He did…

I was excited and when everything was set for my travel during the weekend, Rajesh had to drop his plans of travelling to United States temporarily as his visa was rejected by the visa officer. This came as a jolt for me.

I didn’t know what to do. I was panic-stricken and asked my father if I could drop my travel plans and settle down in India… My father finally vent out his anger which he had kept hidden all his life bearing my unending tantrums. I didn’t have an option. I had to travel.

The day came. I bid good-bye to my parents, friends and finally to Hyderabad where I had spent all my life. I boarded the flight but my heart still didn’t know what I was supposed to do. As I sat in my seat, with my eyes closed in complete confusion, I prayed to God whom I had never asked anything all my life.

The flight took off from Hyderabad Airport and there began my journey of self-realization. It was at this moment, I began the journey of my experiments with truth…

My Noiseless Memories – Chapter 01

Written by Ganesh Raam

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